A Second Life Begins Here

Every day, I walk alongside families through life’s final farewell. And I often find myself wondering — if I hadn’t survived those darkest days, would I have ever met the people who came into my life? Would the life I have today ever have existed?

Today, people know me as a Family Care Consultant. What few know is that there was a time when this life felt impossibly out of reach.

In my twenties, while I was still in college, I worked part-time in the food and beverage industry. Not long after graduation, I was moving ahead faster than many of my peers. It was a booming time for the industry, and I worked my way up from the ground to become a Regional Manager. I had my first taste of success. Later, I decided to start my own business.

I was young and willing to take risks. I put everything I had on the line. But the food and beverage industry was highly competitive, and the business didn’t last. In the end, I had to close the doors myself.

Failure Taught Me Responsibility

That year, I lost almost everything. I lost my savings and found myself buried in debt. My mother and sister even had to use the savings they had spent years building, all because of me.

With nowhere else to turn, I returned to my hometown and took on whatever work I could find. Plumbing, electrical work, car washing… If it meant earning a living, I was willing to do it.

Looking back, I realised that debt wasn’t the hardest part. What hurt the most was knowing that my failure had become a burden for the people who loved me the most.

That was the first time I truly understood what responsibility meant.

When I was 35, I had the opportunity to return to Kuala Lumpur for work. With my mother and sister’s constant encouragement, I joined the bereavement care industry.

To be honest, I didn’t feel a sense of calling back then. I simply wanted a job, to earn a living, and to repay my debts. I even thought I would return to the food and beverage industry after a year.

But I stayed. Not because the work was easier, but because this place changed the way I see life.

From Service, Learning to Understand Grief

People often ask me, “What does the food and beverage industry have in common with bereavement care?” To me, they’ve always shared one thing in common: service.

In the restaurant business, we were trained to pay attention to every detail. When a guest’s glass was almost empty, we noticed before they asked. Before they spoke, we learned to anticipate what they needed.

Later, when I became a Family Care Consultant, I realised those skills mattered even more. Many families are simply too overwhelmed to express what they’re feeling. Sometimes, they can’t even find the words.

It became important to notice what they needed before they asked, to recognise their anxiety, understand their concerns, and simply be there when words weren’t enough. Over time, I’ve come to believe that service has never been about doing things well. It’s about taking good care of people.

The person who shaped me the most was my grandmother.

My father passed away when I was very young, and my mother had to work to support the family. My grandmother raised my sister and me, so even today, I feel a bond with her that’s difficult to put into words.

When she passed away, funeral resources in our hometown were limited. Following local customs, we gave her a simple farewell. Her casket rested quietly in the funeral hall, with very little around it. At the time, I thought that was simply what a funeral looked like.

It wasn’t until I joined the bereavement care industry that my perspective began to change. As I accompanied family after family through their farewells, I witnessed many different ways of saying goodbye. Some ceremonies were simple, yet deeply comforting. Others weren’t elaborate, but they gave families the space to be together, and the chance to say goodbye with peace in their hearts.

And with every family I accompanied, I found myself thinking of my grandmother.

Gradually, I came to realise that a meaningful farewell doesn’t have to be extravagant. It can simply be complete. A farewell that truly carries the love we hold for someone. Sometimes, I can’t help but wonder how much it would have meant if my grandmother had been able to have a farewell like that.

That’s why I often tell families, “A funeral can be simple, but it should never be treated lightly.”

Many people think I’m talking about the ceremony. But I’m not. I’m talking about love, and the relationships we share with the people who matter most. Because once the ceremony is over, what stays with us is never the flowers, the decorations, or how much was spent. What truly remains is whether those left behind can find comfort in knowing they gave someone they deeply loved a proper farewell with fewer regrets.

To put it simply, a person may have more than one wedding in a lifetime, but only one funeral. And if there’s only one, how can we treat it lightly?

Cherish What Can Still Be Cherished

Along the way, I’ve come to realise that bereavement care isn’t only about those who have passed. More often, it’s about those who are still here, helping them say the words they never had the chance to say, and express the gratitude they never got to express.

Over the years, I’ve also learned to remind myself not to save that same care and appreciation only for others.

People around me thought that once I’d repaid my debts, I’d finally be free.

It didn’t. Life still takes hard work. The difference is that I now have a different reason to keep going. Back then, I worked hard to prove myself. Today, I work hard because I have a wife, a daughter, and people I want to protect.

Years ago, my family had to bear the consequences of my youthful choices. Today, I hope that through the way I live each day, they know their faith in me was not misplaced.

People often ask me what I’ve gained most from this journey.

I don’t think it’s about getting back on my feet. It’s about finally understanding that failure is never the end. You can always begin again. But don’t wait until the final farewell to cherish the people you love.

This Original article first appeared in《 The Interview 》. [ Click Here ]

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