Can AI Truly Comfort the Grieving Heart?

There have already been several real-life cases of using AI to “bring back” lost loved ones. Earlier this year, Taiwanese artist Tino Bao (包小柏) shared on a TV program (台湾启示录) how he spent three years using AI to recreate his daughter, who passed away in 2021. With this digital version of her, he arranged for her to sing a birthday song to his wife, and even demonstrated making a video call to his AI daughter on the show. He admitted that he missed his daughter deeply—AI became a way to channel his longing and a means of maintaining a connection with the daughter he lost four years ago.

In response, Xiao En’s Counselling and Support Advisor, Mr. Fong Yee Leong, shared that he was deeply moved after watching the TV program. “As someone who works in hospice care, I often ask those who are grieving: ‘When you lost your loved one, what did you actually lose?’ For me personally, when I lost my mother, I felt as if I had lost someone who could love me unconditionally—like my life had lost its center. Another example: when I lost my fifth aunt, who was my benefactor, it felt like I had lost the chance to love someone deeply. Whether it’s being loved or loving someone, losing a loved one also means losing a vital connection.”

Before the era of AI, some people in grief would repeatedly look at photos of their departed loved ones or replay old videos. Through these repeated actions, they were, in fact, searching for a sense of connection. So when AI is used to “revive” the deceased, it plays a very significant role—it helps reestablish a connection that grief had once severed. With the help of AI, the bereaved can once again speak to their loved ones. And that, in itself, is something incredibly moving.

However, Mr. Fong gently reminds us: “AI resurrection can indeed help soothe the loss of connection to some extent. But impermanence is always part of life. What happens if the computer breaks down, the phone crashes, or the digital version of a loved one malfunctions? Would people be forced to experience that sense of loss all over again? Whether AI brings comfort or deepens grief—that is something we still can’t predict.”

Mr. Fong poses a thought-provoking question to readers: If AI becomes so advanced that your departed loved one could be fully “revived” and reappear in your daily life—would you want that?

To further explore this idea, he references a storyline from a television drama:
“In the suspenseful British series “Black Mirror”(黑镜), Season 2, Episode 1, titled (Be Right Back), a newlywed woman loses her husband in a tragic car accident. Overwhelmed by grief, she begins chatting with an AI version of her husband through her computer. This digital presence eventually fills the emptiness in her life and keeps her from feeling alone.”

“Later, she even chose to ‘resurrect’ her husband—but that’s when problems began to surface. She gradually realized that this version of her husband could never truly replace the real one. Whether in his speech, gestures, or even physical presence, something was always off. At one point, she was so distressed that she even contemplated killing the ‘husband.’

In the end, however, she didn’t go through with it. She became pregnant and eventually locked the AI ‘husband’ away in the attic, keeping him hidden from everyone. Only their child was allowed to visit ‘Dad’ in the attic on weekends. The ending is quite ironic—AI doesn’t age, but humans do. The ‘family member’ we’ve digitally replicated remains frozen in time.

So the question remains: Can such a presence truly bring comfort to those grieving, or does it only make the pain and complexity of loss even deeper? ”

Sometimes, the sorrow of those who are grieving doesn’t stem from daily routines, but rather from the quiet moments—especially in the stillness of the night, during the long years of sleeplessness—when deep-seated grief surfaces. And often, that grief carries unresolved regrets.

Mr. Fong candidly shares, “AI does have a comforting role to play, but it is not the only path to healing. Those who are grieving must hold on to the clarity that while AI may resemble their loved one, it is not truly them.”

In reality, the use of AI to “resurrect” loved ones is not yet widely accepted in legal systems—and it raises serious concerns around infringement of rights. Every person holds the right to their own image, and currently, there is no clear legal answer as to who owns the rights to a person’s likeness after death.

Mr. Fong points out that one of AI’s potential drawbacks is its addictive nature. If a grieving person begins talking to their AI “family member” daily, and gradually withdraws from social interaction with real people, it could ultimately cause more harm than healing.

He hopes that every bereaved individual can develop what he calls “grief literacy”—the ability to understand and care for one’s own grief. It’s okay to find comfort in different ways, and to respect how others grieve, but above all, he emphasizes: the method of comfort should never harm oneself or others.

This Original article first appeared in《 PUMEN普门 》magazine. [ Click Here ]