What Place Does A Memorial Park Hold In Our Lives?

In the public imagination, memorial parks are often seen as places people would rather avoid. Most keep their distance in daily life, and it is only during Qing Ming that many find themselves stepping through their gates. But are memorial parks truly such distant and unfamiliar spaces?

When《 普门 Pumen 》visited Xiao En Memorial Park in Nilai, a different picture emerged. Managed as a private memorial park and thoughtfully designed with a modern park landscape, the grounds are carefully planned, surrounded by greenery, and filled with a sense of calm. The peaceful and comfortable environment gently overturns long held impressions. Rather than a place defined by heaviness, it feels more like a space filled with light an d nature, where grief and remembrance are allowed to flow.

Edwin Choy Chee Mun is a memorial park caretaker at Xiao En Memorial Park, responsible for overseeing all processes related to park operations. His work ranges from confirming the flow of funeral ceremonies and coordinating with the funeral service team, to ensuring the safety of the grounds, maintaining smooth movement throughout the space, and managing the upkeep of the park environment. “We are not only looking after thousands of resting places,” he explains.

“ What we safeguard is the order and flow of the space itself, so that in moments of confusion and grief, families can have a quiet space where their remembrance can find its way.”

One moment that stayed with him was during a funeral, when a devoted husband asked if he could personally place his wife’s urn into the columbarium niche. “ Although it was not the usual practice, once I ensured the ceremony could proceed smoothly, I chose to respond with empathy and respect, and did my best to help him fulfil that final wish.” In that moment, he felt the quiet weight of love. Even when life and death separate two people, love does not disappear.

Winnie Ng Wai Teng is a senior memorial park caretaker at Xiao En Memorial Park. Over more than a decade of working in the memorial park, she has witnessed countless funerals as well as the many visits that follow. For some families, the connection with their loved ones does not end after the interment. Instead, they return regularly for years, as if the person they wish to see still lives here.

“ One father left a deep impression on me,” she recalls. “ His child passed away in youth and has been laid to rest here for many years. Yet, rain or shine, he comes every Monday to visit. He even decorates the resting place according to different festive seasons.”

Although the memorial park has witnessed countless farewells, in the eyes of Edwin Choy and Winnie Ng, every funeral and every returning visitor carries its own story of love and remembrance. Through the many visits over time, life and death seem to draw closer. A quiet harmony emerges, where the bonds between people continue, unbroken.

“ A resting place is also like a monument for a family, ” Edwin Choy explains. During Qing Ming each year, he often sees families gathering to pay their respects. In those moments, the spirit of earlier generations is remembered and passed on, helping the younger generation understand the roots of their family and where they come from. Winnie Ng adds, “ A person may no longer be here, but their name, their photograph, and the way they are remembered remain. What we care for are the memories and the legacy they leave behind.”

Legacy can begin within a family, but in an open and public memorial park, it takes on a wider social meaning. As long as someone is willing to step into the grounds and listen to the stories held here, the legacy of those who have passed on continues to live.

(Photo Caption: A father visits his child’s resting place every Monday, rain or shine, decorating it for different festive seasons over the years.)

Xiao En’s life education is one such example. A memorial park carries countless stories of life and becomes a living classroom for reflecting on life itself. People who walk through it are no longer there only to pay their respects, but to pause, reflect, and learn how to live more meaningfully. “ It is another path to understanding life,” Winnie Ng says.

For memorial park caretakers, what they look after is not simply someone else’s “ancestors.” Through witnessing farewells and accompanying the many forms of remembrance, they have come to see how deeply a memorial park is connected to each of our lives. From preserving the roots of a family, to nurturing a shared understanding of life within society, and even to the quiet, personal reflections it invites, a memorial park holds many layers of meaning. With reverence, they continue to care for this ground, safeguarding the resting place of generations past.

This Qing Ming, have you returned to the memorial park that feels both near and far from your life?

This Original article first appeared in《 PUMEN普门 》magazine. [ Click Here ]

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